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As a Seanachaidh or Tradition Bearer of the Highlands, one of the customs that I do my best to keep alive is Handfasting.
It is a tradition of wedding found in many places and cultures, perhaps rare nowadays, but I keep alive a Scottish style of it.
~ The most important thing that I offer is a ceremony that you and your guests are engaged with and has meaning: I have trained for many years in the practice of holding ceremony, be it naming ceremony, weddings or seasonal.
~ I tailor make the marriage ceremony around you, the couple, over many weeks of preparation. This allows you to bring in ideas not normally catered for within religious or civil ceremonies, and to leave out that which is not relevant to you.
~ I am one of the few people in Scotland (and the UK) who offer a handfasting ceremony that draws from Scottish tradition (and not from questionable internet sources! See history below.)
~ The ceremony is spiritual / emotional and is religious only if you want that. I have performed ceremonies for Pagans, Catholics, the non-religious and 'mixed' marriages.
~ I can only offer the above because I don't do the "legal bit". I work alongside a civil registrar, for marriages that require that.
"Hi Scot, Paul and I just wanted to say a big thank you for the lovely handfasting you performed for us. Everyone has commented on how intimate and beautiful the ceremony was -and the wording was perfect. Many thanks, Tina" Paul and Tina Strong Jan 2011, Edinburgh.
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"Thank you both so much for Sunday, it was such a fantastic day for us. The ceremony was wonderful and very moving. We can't wait to see our kids and tell them all about it personally." Kevin and Sue Bowden, 35 year renewal, July 2011. The kids are Paul and Laura Curtis, from 2007. Click to see (new window).
Steph Bridge, 2008 "I wanted a more personal touch to our ceremony rather than just the registrar which can be quite impersonal, and I feel that Handfasting is a spiritual joining, which I like the idea of without it having to follow one specific religion, which neither of us do."
| Quick links to: | What's in a ceremony? | What it's not | History of Handfasting | Legalities | Non-UK Citizens | Renewal of Vows | Naming Ceremonies |
While every ceremony is uniquely created around you, it might be similar to the following. The ceremony is conducted by either myself or both of us if you have asked for male and female celebrants. We welcome the guests and stand or seat them in a circle (always in a circle or oval, never rows). We welcome you, the Bride and Groom, into the circle of your people. I speak some words of introduction about marriage, your families, the choice of day or choice of ceremony location in Scotland, if these are special to you, perhaps some old Gàidhlig poetry or prose on the theme of marriage. Then we begin. The guests are invited to 'set a ground' of ceremony, through calling in the Four Elements, Earth, Air Fire and Water. The guests perhaps contribute words of their own through readings. We ask who will support you in your marriage - like guardians. You give your verbal declarations to each other, your vows, written by you, explaining why you want to marry; what you are asking for from the relationship; what you appreciate in the other. I call for the Bann to handfast you by, introduce its symbolism, then tie the knot. You might also exchange rings. Perhaps you would share a drink from the Cuach - the communal whisky drinking cup (quaich). This might be a Cuachthat you have asked to have made for you to keep as your family gathering cup. I call for the Besom (An Sguab), so that you may jump it and begin your life together. Perhaps the groom will take Brides Cross across the threshold and into the home. A family member welcomes you once you have crossed the threshold of the Besom, or perhaps Samantha, as a married woman. You leave the circle and walk around the outside of your people, then are welcomed back into their circle, having taken your first steps as a couple. The details are of course, special to you, and indeed, the above is not a set format, but rather a typical structure that we, together, create to your desires. A ceremony lasts about 40 minutes (from guests-in to Bride and Groom out).
While I do come with a pallette of colours drawn from the Scottish traditions, I am keen to make couples a part of creating their own ceremony. I like to accommodate those little things that would make it more your own. That said, I don't accept every request to perform a handfasting marriage ceremony that I get, so it is important for those wishing to engage our services to fully read this page and understand what I do and what handfasting is NOT. I perform about 25 ceremonies a year and no more.
Handfasting is not a form of entertainment, re-enactment or a simple "Celtic Blessing"
It is a wedding ceremony.
As such, it does not come after any other faith-based ceremony (including Humanist). I only perform a Handfasting ceremony on its own or in conjunction with a civil marriage service.
(If you are having a civil service, the page on Civil and Handfasting combined should also be read.)
"Dear Sam and Scot, Just a note to say how much we enjoyed the Handfasting you performed for the marriage of our daughter Suzanne to Tony on the 10 October at Duns Castle, we found it a very moving ceremony. Carole and Steve Eaton" 2005
Hand-Fasting probably draws from Scandanavian Christian and pre-Christian practices introduced to Scotland before 1000 AD.
It was still popular in the 15-1600s. It was a form of Betrothal.
Some historians have interpreted this as a trial marriage of a year and a day.
It may have been so in some places in the Scottish Borders.
In a HandFasting, the hands were bound by The Ban', rather than by rings. Perhaps the couple would also Jump the Besom or over the campfire, which was popular. Under older Canon Law, public figures, other than priests, would sometimes perform the wedding: Blacksmiths, Seanachaidhean (like myself), Clann Chiefs and so on, although it was the vows before the family that made their marriage legal, not the celebrant. The law changed in the 1600s allowing only church ministers to perform marriage, but the practice of binding the hands had become popular and so some Scottish Churches were still using hand-fasting as part of weddings up until the early 20th Century.
For a detailed, properly researched historical account of Handfasting see MedievalScotland.org
In more modern times, the binding of the hands has been used more often as part of the actual marriage ceremony, indeed it is found in a number of traditions around the world. Many couples choose a HandFasting Ceremony because it allows them to express who they are as a couple. Sometimes a couple's spirituality is not represented by the major religions, or they are daunted by the stress of modern wedding forms, or the lack of spirituality in a civil marriage isn't enough. They are usually seeking a return to the connection between them through a ceremony that is meaningful to them. You may have seen a handfasting ceremony in Braveheart and been touched by it.
As an extension of the marriage vow, many couples like to reaffirm their commitment to their relationship. This requires ceremony, of course! Such a ceremony is not greatly different from a wedding and can include many of those elements. As in some ways, a renewal is a bit like wiping the slate clean and being married again for the first time. I have performed a renewal ceremony for those of a Catholic faith also.
Above, a surprise Renewal of Vows ceremony for Amy (she looks surprised, yes?) arranged by her husband of 10 years, Ed, in a beautiful woodland location on the bonny banks of Loch Lomond, October 2006.
"Scot - Thank you so much for such a unique & beautiful way to
celebrate our 10 yrs of marriage & 19 years together. For
once in my life I was speechless, which anyone who knows me
can tell you is a rarity. You told the story of our lives
together with such feeling it is something we will always
cherish. The gifts we used in our ceremony were beautiful
as well, thank you & your wife for taking the time to craft
them for our special day. We will be tying the Ban' on our
bedpost, sweeping out our home regularly with the Besom &
drinking from the Cuach every year as advised. We will
remember this for the rest of our lives. I cannot express
our gratitude enough. Don't be surprised when we come back &
celebrate our 20 yrs together with you as well. Amy & Ed Rusewicz"
For more renewal photos see Photo and Audio page
Yes, we do!
The principles that form a Handfasting, can equally host a naming ceremony
Alex & Gareth, Carbisddale, then Naming Ceremony a year later