This page:
Legalities of weddings in ScotlandCombining a Handfasting and a Civil (registrar) Service.
Non-UK citizens wishing a Handfasting
The legal aspects
Q: Is handfasting wedding legal? This is a question I hear often. Answer: it is not the form of wedding that makes it legal, but he or she who signs the marriage register.
Confused?
Only a civil registrar (council employee) or a minister from a recognised religion/ body has authority to sign the marriage schedule/ licence, which is the State's document to record your marriage and thus for the state to support it in law.
I am neither minister nor registrar. (This gives me, and you, more freedom in the ceremony)
So the question is: how does one have a handfasting in the Scottish tradition, where your own sense of spirit, emotion and connection are expressed AND have the state recognise your union?
Answer: you perform your marriage in two parts: the handfasting ceremony with me joins you together in spirit and emotion, amidst your family; the Civil bit with a registrar allows the state recognise your new legal entity.
How? Often, couples have the registrar come to the venue in the morning of the wedding, while everyone is getting ready and the registrar does the legal bit in about 4 minutes. Alternatively, the couple takes care of the legal bit back in their home town a day or so before or after the wedding ceremony. It's very simple and commonly done.
Why one of our grooms-to-be chose a Handfasting Ceremony: "Marriage by registrar is about the relationship between the couple and the state rather than the relationship between the husband and wife. Although I am a Christian I do not actively subscribe to any particular church and as such would not feel comfortable with a church wedding. I regard the Handfasting ceremony as a way of declaring and celebrating our co-joining on a personal level without the dictate of either the state or a church" Andy, May 08
Combining a Handfasting and a Civil (registrar) Service.
I want to create a ceremony that is the most enjoyable and appropriate for you and your guests. I will create a ceremony that engages the guests, touches their hearts and is meaningful to you, the couple. Couples can inadvertently make that harder to achieve, hence the need for this page.
Differences between a Scottish Handfasting ceremony and a Civil service
My role as a trained Celebrant, is to conduct a unique, emotional and perhaps spiritual ceremony with the freedom to include any words and traditions you wish and any beliefs you have. The ceremony is required to bond/unite a couple in marriage, that being an emotional or spiritual binding.
The role of the Civil Registrar is to conduct a legal transaction. The legal service is required for the state to uphold your union for the purposes of pensions, your estate and so on – that is it's primary role.
It's important to understand the differences between the role of a civil registrar and a wedding celebrant. Read the above again.
I work alongside a registrar when a couple wishes to have both a Handfasting AND legal registration.
Considerations for working alongside a registrar
"You can't hang a person twice for the same crime" and you can't get married in a full ceremony twice for the same marriage. As you will already be aware, I do not conduct Handfasting Weddings along side any other spiritual or non-spiritual ceremony, including humanist. That would be having two ceremonies for one wedding/marriage. It is simply redundant – an unnecessary repetition in expressing ideas. More importantly, it confuses the guests and sometimes the couple. Guests go from one gathering to the next, congratulating you twice, etc.
If you intend to have your marriage legally registered by the state before (or after) your Handfasting Wedding Ceremony I recommend the following:
Conduct a MINIMAL legal service with the registrar
Do not include poetry or readings or make a “ceremony” of the
Civil service, as that dilutes the “ceremony” aspect of the Handfasting
Wedding.
Note: Some of our couples call this a “Jeans and T-shirt Service” as that is
how they turn up to the registry office, with only two witnesses and have their
marriage legalised with the council registrar hours, days, weeks, months before
(or after) the Handfasting Wedding.
Do not include your wedding guests at the civil service
Many couples have said that they do legal aspects without even telling their family/friends. Then on your Wedding Day, you have your Handfasting Ceremony with all of your family and friends present.
Your Handfasting Ceremony Will Include The Following:
Your guests
Your Vows
All poetry and readings
Any ring Exchanges
Any family / friends' involvement
The binding of your hands
Any other ceremony options of your choice
Celebration drinks (if any) to follow
Your Registrar Service Should Include The Following:
Two / four witnesses only (no other guests)
Your Names, address, legal status and your legal declaration of marriage, all
required by law.
Signing the legal document, “schedule of marriage” or register.
The Legal Service will take about 5 minutes.
Why not?
At this point you might be wondering why I don't conduct the legal aspect of a wedding. It's very simple. In order to do that, I would need to join a “church” or “body”, or become a council employee, none of which would permit me to offer you a ceremony of your choosing. That's why couples come to me: for the uniqueness, the Scottish traditions, the spiritual expression of their own choosing. In Europe, the “separation of church and state” in performing a marriage is the norm.
If you wish to combine your Civil Service and your Handfasting Wedding Ceremony differently to my recommendation, then we will need to discuss your reasoning before I agree to perform the ceremony, to see if I can accommodate you.
Questions and comments are welcome before you decide whether Handfasting in the Scottish Tradition is for you.
I hope to have the honour of performing your ceremony and bringing pleasure to your wedding.
Scot an Sgeulaiche
Non-UK citizens being married in Scotland
Which leads us on to marriages with one or more foreign nationals. Britian is unfortunately becoming increasingly difficult to get married in if you are not a British Citizen. There are ways though, involving a civil marriage, sometimes abroad, followed by the spiritual marriage, with family and friends, officiated by someone like myself, in a beautiful Scottish Castle, perhaps. It works rather well and is quite common. So if you're going through marriage visa stress, then you're not alone! I can help.